How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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