She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
