So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
