All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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