I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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