I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
