he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
