Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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