yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
