her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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