I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
