Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
