Ambien. No doubt about it.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize