that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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