ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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