There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
