you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
