so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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