I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
These tits shall not be calmed
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
