Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize