Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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