Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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