Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
