he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
