If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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