Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
