ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
