it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
