Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
