you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So much rum. So many feels.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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