Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
