dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
