Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
