If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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