Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
