Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize