mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize