i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
