apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
