all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
