My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
