he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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