My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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