i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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