so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
