i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
