Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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