Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He has the fingertips of a God
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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