I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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