the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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