new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
