A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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