Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
