Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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