We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
