So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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