Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
