I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize