The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
