I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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