You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
