why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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