he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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